Scientists have made the surprise discovery of a hormone that dramatically increases a person’s self-assurance without having any material side effect on health or other behavioural outcomes.
It is well known in psychology that self-assurance is the major determinant for overall happiness and for success in work and life. Now it seems that science is well on the way to developing a pill that in one stroke can establish anyone of us as a self-assured person.
“Imagine a world where your worries and doubts become suppressed into non-existence. A world where you feel confident in your decisions and your points of view on a wide range of topics. A world where other people seek out your opinions and want to work on your team. This is the world of the self-assured,” says research leader Dr Noah Problema.
“The new drug, which we have licensed as ConfidoneTM, is a breakthrough in social engineering,” he said assuredly. “I, myself, used to be a junior research assistant constantly worrying about whether I could make it in the big league, before I made this discovery and started self-medicating.”
The breakthrough for Dr Problema came about while studying the impact of sex hormones on the body. He noticed that the ConfidoneTM hormone was being co-secreted with testosterone and has this singular effect on a person’s personality and outlook.
Both men and women naturally secrete ConfidoneTM from the sex organs (testes, ovaries) and the pituitary gland, but about 5% of men produce it at a much higher level than the normal population. These are the people that go on to be the politicians and CEOs that rule our world.
The greatest impact of the hormone is that past mistakes and personal weaknesses are easily forgotten. Like all self-assured people, a recent bout of poor performance does not seem to deter them from confidently seeking a new job, promotion or pay rise. In a similar way, personal criticism and social disapproval does not seem to cause them to waver from their preferred course.
“This is the knife that cuts the link between confidence and competence,” explains Dr Problema. “With the right dosages of this hormone, you don’t actually need to be good to believe in yourself”.
The really exciting discovery is that ConfidoneTM can be taken orally in a dosage of one tablet a day and it has an equally dramatic effect on men and women. Much like Viagra is a silver bullet for erectile dysfunction, ConfidoneTM appears to be the answer to people’s lack of confidence and self-assurance.
“In fact, we are working on a tablet that is a combination of ConfidoneTM and Viagra, so that at least for men, they are really prepared for an active day ahead,” adds Dr Problema.
“It may also be the solution to gender differences at work reducing the promotion and pay differential for women. No longer will women have to consciously ‘lean-in’ and pretend to be more assertive than they really feel. They will naturally have the swagger and resilience of the alpha male to drive them forward to success at work and in the home. This could be the final step for sex equality in society,” concludes Dr Problema with a flourish.
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