Country announces “Gender Neutral Day” as Sept 23rd

Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the small Baltic country of Mithonia has looked to Scandinavia as the model for building its post-communist society.

But now taking a step further, Mithonia has announced the creation of a National Day in celebration of Gender Neutrality.

Gender and Equality Minister, Lubyana Duvorak, commented: “Many societies are looking to create gender neutral environments for their children. We believe it is important to extend this to the adult environment.

“Therefore we are defining 23rd September as “Gender Neutral Day” for our country and we are encouraging others around the world to join in.

“For 24 hours all gender distinctions will be abolished and we will operate as a unified and homogenous society at peace with its genderless self”, she added.

Mithonia has had a committee working for six months on designing how the day will operate. The committee operated as a genderless group although we are assured that prior to the genderless designation there was an even representation of women and men.

“Once you start creating the utopia of a genderless environment you realize how pervasive we have allowed gender to become. It is a cancer that we have allowed to spread in our society”, Minister Duvorak noted.

For Gender Neutral Day, the objective is to abolish all gender distinctions in communication, appearance and behavior. Key elements of the day will be:

• All communication, written and spoken, will be in the female form using words such as she, her, actress, etc. The male equivalents will all be banned.
• Physical appearance will be in the male form with every-one wearing trousers, shirts and jackets. High-heeled shoes, dresses, tailored clothes and face make-up will be banned.
• Gender specific environments such as toilets will be designated as unisex for the day and all institutions will have to remove the “Men” and “Women” signs from all conveniences replacing them simply with the word “Toilets”.

“It is going to be such a fun and happy day”, noted an aide tasked with making the arrangements.

In a press conference, the aide provided the following commentary on how the day will operate:

“Moving to a single pronoun of “she” we think is particularly important as no-one will be able to make gender specific comments as no language will exist to express them. Verbal gender differentiation and abuse will be solved in one simple measure.

“Having everyone adopt the male dress form is a practical and cost effective move for the day. We did a mock up of using the female form but it just ended up with men wearing large fake boobs and fishnet stockings. Besides too many people got blisters from wearing high heels.

“There has been some discussion on the issue of unisex toilets, but in fact it is an anachronism that we currently have gender separation for our toilets. There already is a degree of privacy with separate cubicles for sit-down toilets and even the urinals are typically in a separate part of the male toilet. In any case, now that we formally recognize same-sex sexual orientation, there are already people sharing segregated wash facilities that may find each other sexually attractive, so mixing the genders will have no real impact.

“To enforce the rules, police officers and officials will be issued with water pistols and they will playfully soak anyone showing gender variation against the rules. We envisage a fun atmosphere with those not joining in the spirit of the occasion getting a good soaking. There will be a lot of happiness and laughter in offices and in the street.

“On this special day, Gender Neutral Day, with the gender designation removed, we will all realize the true variation and diversity within our society unencumbered by historic gender divisions and assignments”, the aide concluded.

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